I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
