im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
