Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
