I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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