I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
