The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
should my penis look like a turkey
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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