What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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