maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
