So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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