shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
