You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
