4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
And then my night got REAL pukey
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
