You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
