So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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