Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize