why didn't you poke me back
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
