who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
