He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
