the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
