spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize