He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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