I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
