Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
