But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize