it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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