Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
