She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
