I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
