I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
