that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
