Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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