i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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