that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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