Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
