Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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