You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
