Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
