i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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