So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
