I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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