So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
