your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize