He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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