he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
