how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
