I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
