I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
