i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
4 words: hood of his car
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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