why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
