Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
