I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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