i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
