After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
