just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
