Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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