we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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