you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you traded sex for a burrito?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize