He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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