I molested 6 butterflies tonight
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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