big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Of course I have a pirate flag
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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