nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
