for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Two words: blizzard sex
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
