I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
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