I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
