I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize