So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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