i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
