He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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