i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
