Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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