So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I had to cum in my sink.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
