Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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