why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize