i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
