before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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