There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
